Lou has a way with words.
He has a collection of sayings to describe most everything he experiences. Most of the sayings come from the Deep South where Lou attended college, or, from his childhood days in Texas. But each one sums up things so specifically, and most of them make you laugh when you really consider what he just said. Check out just a few of the ones Lou has said in the past few days:
We were at the grocery store yesterday, and this very tweaky guy got in line behind us. This guy was jerking and fidgeting while he waited for his turn to pay for his food. As we were walking out of the store, Lou said:
“That guy was higher than nuts on a giraffe.”
Lou overate some pizza last night, and after he finished his last piece, the waitress asked us if we saved room for dessert. Lou leaned back in his chair and rubbed his full belly. Then he said:
“Honestly dear… I’d have to rub it on!”
When the waitress laughed, Lou added:
“I’m fuller than a tick on Dracula!”
Lou had trouble sleeping last night (from all the pizza, I’m sure). So, he got up a few times to get a sip of water, and to use the bathroom. This morning, Lou said:
“Baby, I’m sorry if I woke you last night. I was up and down like a hooker’s nightgown.”
I could keep going and going… Lou has so many of these funny “Lou-isms” that I could spend a whole chapter just repeating them. And even though most of them weren’t originally coined by Lou, it’s the way Lou drops in his little sayings that make me smile — even when things are going horribly wrong for us.
But when Lou stopped working for Mr. Kimchi, he was immediately asked to consult a public company based in Florida. Then, he landed the marketing rights to sell a product that was endorsed by Dr. Oz — which seemed like a total winner. But the thing about consulting is that the people who hire you for your expertise seldom take your advice, and very often, their payments to you get “lost in the mail.”
As Lou would say, “Those guys are just peeing on my leg and telling me it’s raining.”
On top of that, big opportunities — like the one Lou had with the Dr. Oz product — also require perfect timing (which wasn’t something I could count on in
“Baby, I’m on such a bad streak that I couldn’t get lucky in a women’s prison with a fist full of pardons.”
Oh dear.
[Side Note: I’d like to add another layer to your ideas about who Lou is in my eyes before we keep going. Even now, this word picture helps me remember who my husband really is when things go all pear-shaped on us (which still happens from time to time). But be warned. You will have to picture Lou in a leotard — which will be super tricky for people who actually know him! But just go with it…
Lou has always been like a gymnast who willingly throws his body into a triple twist that no one else thinks to attempt. People around him are excited to see if he can actually pull off the impossible, and very often, they want to attach themselves to Lou just in case he succeeds. Before he makes his attempt, Lou gets people so excited to witness what he wants to do because it’s often very inventive, and if Lou does, in fact, pull it off, it could be the start of something truly epic.
Lou spends lots of mental energy figuring out exactly how to ramp up his speed to execute the stunt, and, he’s always got an idea of how hard he’ll need to hit the springboard to get enough height. But when he finally goes for it, unexpected obstacles in his path, or a slip of his foot during the take off can alter his planned trajectory.
Somehow, though, he pulls off all three flips. It isn’t always pretty, but his flight through the air can be pretty awe-inspiring. Lou’s sheer belief in his ability to even attempt the stunt is something most people will never possess, so people like me are always pulling for people like Lou.
But because Lou is running at the trick with so much forced effort, he doesn’t always nail the dismount. There are so much momentum and precision involved in what Lou attempts to do that if one thing goes wrong, it’s too much to correct in mid-flight. So sometimes… Lou lands too hard, or he takes a huge corrective step. Or, sometimes, Lou even falls on his face, and the trick ends in failure – no matter how beautifully he twisted in the air.
But we all know that the judges always deduct the most points for a bad dismount. It’s the only thing they can remember about the trick.
When I think back to who Lou was at this time in our shared history, I can picture Lou as a champion because he never stopped trying to perfect his next dismount. He might move on to a new version of the trick, but the new stunt is usually equally as daunting, and if he pulls it off, he will go down in history as the best of the best.
Lou always wants to nail the dismount, but so far, the bad endings in his life haven’t prevented him from picking himself up off of the mat to try again.
Lou is my gymnast, and even though what I’m about to recount makes me sad and frustrated, I think I’ll always be sitting in the stands hoping my husband will go for it. I can’t imagine Lou running away from a chance to pull off something — especially when he believes he can do it. And, I don’t ever want him to. But at this time, I just didn’t have it in me to be his spotter anymore…]
When Dr. Oz got called before a congressional hearing to defend the way he promoted products on his show, we all knew that Lou’s marketing rights to one of Oz’s top products was going down the tubes. Lou had leveraged a couple of very important relationship to keep us in the game with this product, but after that hearing, things in our world felt desperate and totally compromised. We couldn’t see up from down, and it was incredibly stressful.
Lou and I each handle desperate times differently. Lou starts slinging harder, and I find myself retreating and falling back on my default settings of fear and scarcity. Lou and I can be polar opposites when the chips are down…
