Sam told me a story once about how a shapeshifter appeared to him to help guide him to a better place in his life.
That story is Sam’s to tell, not mine.
But the concept of a shapeshifter became very interesting to me after he told me his story. Typically, shapeshifting involves turning from a human into an animal. I don’t really know how to square stuff like that with my faith; however, if I can elevate it to a spiritual shift, there is something very useful to me about the concept of a shapeshifter providing me with a new kind of wisdom or perspective about my life.
For me, I know Eloise Butts is my shapeshifter.
More than any other character I’ve written for any of my other novels, Eloise has the power to gather me up, and then transform into a persona that is more willing to learn and experience new things than the real me. But the irony about Eloise is that if you don’t understand her, you could believe her to be a repressed person. She is a very modern girl who’s still a virgin at 33 — which by culture’s standards makes her not only an odd duck, but also something more like a unicorn!
But to create Eloise, I borrowed pieces of myself that I wish I was able to live out in my own reality. She is contained, and careful — just like me — and even though she stumbles a lot, she triumphs more than I do. She risks more than I believe I should — simply because she exists at all! But she doesn’t compromise about the things that make her who she’s meant to be. I made sure of that when I created her. I gave Eloise a gift I haven’t figured out how to give myself.
So I’ve hidden so much about who I know I’m supposed to be in a fiction character so it’s safely contained in case I never have enough faith to be who I’m fully meant to be.
