The urology team that practices at the University of Utah is among the very best, and the doctor who was taking on Lou’s case is renown.
He is the doctor who teaches other doctors how to perform a radical new procedure on the prostate that can mitigate the horrible side effects associated with a total removal. At that time, there were only about 100 men who had had this exact surgery, but the results were phenomenal.
At his appointment, we learned that Lou’s prostate was three times the normal sizeof a healthy one, and, that he was a candidate for this new procedure that would essentially remove all of the tissue in the center of his prostate, but leave the outer “shell.” This technique had been showing amazing results in that within a few months of the surgery, most men went back to having totally healthy lives with no urination or incontinence issues, or slumps in their sex lives.
It was kind of a miracle!
But there were risks to the surgery — especially for Lou. For one thing, it takes a long time, and since Lou’s prostate was so massive, and it was already bleeding so much, the surgery could take even longer than normal. The doctor said that in all likelihood, Lou could be under for up to seven hours — which is a very long time to be under anesthesia no matter who you are. And, due to the trauma Lou’s body had already suffered over the past couple of years, the surgical outcome was going to be less certain, and, Lou’s ability to handle the surgery was also a variable of concern.
But these issues were not enough of a concern for us to delay. So, after the whole procedure, along with any of the possible negative outcomes and various worst case scenarios were thoroughly explained to us, Lou was added to the surgery schedule.
Unfortunately, the only date they had open that was soon enough to help Lou was the day before we were scheduled to move into our new condo. Lou would be in the hospital for a minimum of two days after his surgery, so I would need to do another move-in on my own. And even though that was less than awesome news, I was relieved that a doctor finally had an option that seemed to give Lou some peace.
Even though it had frustrated me so much, I absolutely knew that Lou had held out and taken the path he had to take for a reason; and, the fact that a surgery like this one existed at all seemed like the only reward for staying the course.
I wrote this in my journal:
“Being seriously ill makes you doubt your inner voice sometimes. It can make you think the answers are only outside of you. Maybe there are some answers you can’t know all on your own. But if you discount your own Truth because of fear, you might spend the rest of your life with something much worse: regret.”
When I found that journal entry, I’m sure when I wrote it, I wrote it about Lou; but re-reading it now, I think it was also for me.