I must confess, the time I spent in Dallas with Lou’s family felt an awful lot like a vacation! 

Between minor moments of awful with Lou’s health, there were decadent meals, trips to the movies (with popcorn and candy!), and lots and lots of laughter. Lou’s sister is a great friend, and she is thoughtful and incredibly generous. 

On my first day in town, she took me to get a pedicure — which was a treat from my past that I used to take for granted. I used to go every two weeks to get my toenails polished up, but it had been years since that kind of thing was in my budget. When I went broke, I just did my best to keep all of my nails neatly trimmed so I didn’t look like Madame Medusa.

But after Dona took me to her salon, every time I looked down at my pretty painted toes, I felt so thankful and spoiled.

I also found a tremendous amount of joy just by standing in the middle of Dona and my brother-in-law, Dave’s, enormous kitchen pantry! They had the most amazing selection of nuts, pretzel nuggets, and cereals I’d ever seen! There were key ingredients that were handpicked by Dave to make all of his signature gourmet dishes, and there were square boxes of fancy teas that Dona always offered me whenever I came for a visit.

One of my favorite books growing up was The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis. I loved the idea of the children entering another world through their wardrobe. Similarly, when I was standing in the pantry at Dona’s house, I felt like I could enter into a magical culinary experience if I tapped on the right wallboard! Or… I could just grab a handful of chocolate covered almonds, and be transported to a very happy place of my own (minus the lion, the witch, and the inclement weather).

There was about a week between my arrival and Lou’s scheduled surgery in Minneapolis, and Dona and Dave did so many thoughtful and beautiful things to make that time comforting for us. But for me, just catching up on sleep was hugely helpful. I was feeling a lot like a pinball that had been ricocheted around the country, reacting to Lou’s scary moments, and trying to keep myself from going insane. So I napped, read books, watched movies, and tried to support Lou as best I could.

Lou’s health was always iffy, and it would shift from stable to chaotic on a day-by-day basis.

But Lou continued to work the phones, and he even recruited a few people in the Dallas area onto the “Zant Wrinkle Cream Team.” But Lou did start to lose some of his earlier enthusiasm. I think he was depleted, and the pending surgery and continued bleeding made it impossible for Lou to ever feel like himself.

Two days before his surgery was scheduled, I happened to see Lou’s travel itinerary confirmation notice for his flight to Minnesota on his phone. He had only booked one round-trip ticket. I just assumed I would be going, but the itinerary didn’t include a ticket in my name. So when I asked Lou about it, he seemed annoyed. 

He said, “Baby, we can’t afford to buy you a ticket when the surgery is supposed to be an out patient procedure. I’m just going to go up there, have the procedure, and then fly home the next day. It’s no big deal.”

Again, Lou’s evasiveness and simplified way of processing all of this weren’t working for me! I wanted to know exactly what the doctors were going to do during this surgery, but Lou assured me that he fully understood the scope of things, and that was good enough. He was adamant that he was going to go up to Minnesota on his own, and that was that.

Lou was unwavering about his decision, no matter how it made me feel. I was doing my very best to give Lou the space I knew he needed, but I didn’t feel peace about this at all. I felt like I should be there — even if we had to ask Dona to get another airline ticket for me. But Lou was decided on this topic. 

So I finally had to let it go. 

Dona tried to reason with Lou, too, but he was done discussing all of it with us. So in the end, Dona and I gave up. Dona clearly knows how far she can push her brother, and we both had to come to terms with the idea that Lou was going to Minnesota all by himself.

The morning of his surgery, Dona and I dropped off Lou at the airport. I gave Lou a long hug, and I prayed in his ear. He seemed strong, but a little shaky, too. He was ready to get this surgery over with so he could get back on track. So I felt him stiffen with confidence when he pulled away from me. He looked strong and brave, so I let go… 

But I held on tightly to Lou’s spirit with my prayers.