Have you ever been to a wedding?
I have. In fact, since 2016, I’ve been to more than 60 weddings, and this year, I’ll be attending at least one wedding every single weekend from May until October! That’s a lot of holy matrimonies!
But when you picture yourself at a wedding, do you ever picture any of this?
Wearing a black outfit that permits you to bend, hoist, and lift things without flashing anyone?
Wearing cankle-inducing black Skeetcher slips-ons that look awful on you, but make it easier to run?
Pulling all of your hair into a knot on top of your head (without the benefit of a mirror) to keep it out of your face?
Slathering your skin in mosquito repellent and sunscreen, giving you a greasy and smelly existence?
Or do you ever picture yourself doing any of these things?
Discreetly running up or down a hill?
Crawling on your hands and knees to shove things under a linen covered table?
Carrying a heavy wooden cocktail table 200 yards, and then repeating that five more times?
Carrying 15 chairs the same distance so the five cocktail tables won’t get lonely?
Carrying those same five heavy cocktail tables and 15 chairs back to their original location two hours later?
Then carrying those exact same five cocktail tables and 15 chairs back to the other location again for brunch the next day?
My guess is, unless you have a side hustle as a wedding planner’s assistant like me, you’ve probably never done any of those things at a wedding. And the truth is, the list of things I do every time I “attend a wedding” would be a mile long, and, it might totally surprise you — because I was surprised to learn all of the insane and incredibly important things that go on behind the scenes at a Wine Country wedding when I first started this kind of work.
But nowadays, it’s all very normal to me.
I just completed working a four-day-wedding for one of my very favorite planners (and most beautiful friend), and today, I feel sore and achy all over, but completely satisfied and happy about how brilliantly the wedding turned out. But there were some behind the scenes casualties — for me at least. I tore my favorite pair of black pants on this incredibly sharp mental barb on the side of this old coffee table at the venue. Then, the next day, on the same coffee table, I collided with a huge metal bolt on the other side of the table. Now I have an enormous hematoma bulging on the lower part of my left shin that throbs when I think about it too much. (Clearly, it was “Me Vs. The Coffee Table,” this weekend, and I was definitely the loser…)
I also have about 32 mosquito bites, painfully bruised toes, and a pretty significant sunburn on the back of my neck. I had my step counter on the whole weekend, and it logged 47 miles of walking — however, on the actual wedding day, my phone battery died and it was on the charger for at least an hour, and during that hour, I was moving in twenty different directions on foot. So I could easily imagine I added another mile or two (at least) to that total. But that step counter doesn’t account for the fact that most of those 47 miles of walking involved carrying stuff and schlepping heavy piles of things, so it’s a false reading no matter how you measure it. But I can say this:
The bruise on my hip-bone from the wedding I worked two weeks ago adds to my personal calculation of human effort!
I probably won’t do very much today because I feel pretty run down, and I feel a sore throat brewing every time I swallow. I’m sure it’s just a short-lived response to lack of sleep, and I’m certain I’ll be fine by tomorrow. But when I was thinking about posting something on my blog today, the title Post Wedding Bliss came to mind right away. Because as odd as it might sound, I’m experiencing a version of that cliché right now. I do feel a kind of blissful gratitude in my heart for the couple who got married this weekend, and for their incredibly kind family who trusted me to help their planner execute their perfect day.
My bliss comes from how good it feels to serve people who appreciate your efforts, and who affirm your value — even when you’re just an assistant hiding in plain sight at a fancy wedding. And the planner I worked for this weekend always champions me, supports me, and loves me…and her appreciation for all my hard work feeds my heart in so many ways. But my bliss also comes from how blessed I am to have such an interesting side job to help me keep my head above water while I press onward to keep my career as an author alive and kicking.
Every wedding loads up my mind and heart with stories, stolen moments, secret discoveries, and nuanced layers about life, love, and relationships, and as an author, that’s the juice for me. If you’re following my blog on a consistent basis, then you already know that worry a lot about how I’m stewarding my time and “earning my keep” in this life of mine, and there are times when I wonder if I’m selfish or wrong to keep my hopes alive for re-engaging in my writing career.
But every wedding I work always reminds me of how important it is to allow belief and vision to mix together when it comes to the human experience. For me, it’s always worth it to pursue the Truth in your heart and to find the things and the people who make you whole. So in my moment of post-wedding bliss, I’m savoring the intersection of my life and my purpose…
