If you’re following my Imposition Tour posts, then you already know I had terrific parents.
In my eyes, they were incredibly good at preparing me for life. They both had a way of teaching me things that have served me well when I’m stuck or even a little scared. I often feel comforted when I ask myself, “What would my parents say to me?” I do wish I could ask them directly, but it’s been a long time since a phone call could connect me to either of my parents, and even though it’s been a long time since both of my parents passed on, I really do feel like they are always with me.
I’m thinking very hard on a few topics in my life these days, and so when I’m searching the depths of myself and asking God for wisdom, that wisdom often comes to me in the form of a memory of one or both of my parents. Today, however, thoughts of my mom and dad came to me not in the form of any one specific memory, but rather, my heart was full of a familiar feeling they both gave me throughout my life.
Shelter.
I was often in a hurry to grow up (so I could be more like my sister!) But my mom had a way of catching me just before I could run off after my own ideas of how to be older, and she’d always say, “Sonja. Don’t be in such a hurry. Stay little as long as you can. You can always grow up, but you can’t grow down…”
My mom was always sheltering me from experiences I wasn’t ready for…
My dad used to say things to me like, “If you don’t know how to say no to someone pressuring you into something you’re not ready for, just blame me. I can be ‘the heavy’ in your life until you can find your own voice. ”
My dad was always giving me shelter to tuck back into him when things were getting too tricky in my world.
Today on my hike, I was thinking so many thoughts about this season of my life, and with all of my writing, and all of the ideas I’m chasing after these days. So much possibility exists, and I feel hopeful and maybe even bolder than I ever have before. But at times, I feel exposed and more vulnerable than I want to be… And there are so many decisions that are out of my hands — which is making me feel really wobbly and fearful if you want to know the truth.
But in the foggy morning breeze, I could feel my mom whispering, “Just be where you are right now and be thankful. Everything you have ahead of you will come to you in the perfect timing. Tuck in and be content in the moment you have right now. I promise… You’ll have all the big moments you could ever want soon enough.”
As I trekked down the hill of the steep hike I took today, I encountered a drop-off that didn’t seem as tricky on the way up as it did once I was on my way down. Suddenly, I felt my dad whisper “Turn around and go a different way — no one but you and I will know you chose a different path that was the better one for you. I see you… I’ve got you. And more importantly, you’ve got this!”
