So I’m going to try this again…
The first 12 posts of The Imposition Tour are back up now, and my plan is to keep adding new collections of posts on a regular basis going forward. But posting this content isn’t as easy as I though it would be! I’m exposing myself — and my husband — in a very vulnerable way by sharing our story, and that’s intimidating. But as always, I have a few thoughts on the subject of being “an open book” and what it feels like to need to share my stories.
Today, on the way to church, Lou and I were driving down the road that connects Sonoma to Napa, and we saw a women setting up a little table along the side of the road. Her car trunk was open, and she was lifting a large piece of artwork out of it. As we cruised past her in our Chevy, I saw her lose her grip on this heavy piece of artwork. I could actually see her shoulders buckle as she tried to keep the piece upright on the table. I couldn’t make out what the piece was made of, but it looked like it might’ve been a mosaic made with
I said to Lou, “What a brave thing to do — setting up your artwork on the side of the road, just hoping someone will stop and not only look at it, but also buy it…”
It’s a typically chilly winter day in the Wine Country, which means it’s overcast and windy, and the temps are hovering just below 50. It’s not the kind of day that makes sitting on the side of the road in a lawn chair next to a rickety table with your very best art balanced on it a fun way to pass the time. Yet I thought about that woman for many miles after I spotted her. I totally get her motivation, and I completely understand the risks she’s taking:
>The risk of looking foolish (while you’re already feeling foolish);
>The risk of wasting your time;
>The risk of failure because no one thought your art was worth noticing…
I guess I understand how these risks feel because I’m a lot like a roadside artists. In fact, I could easily call myself The Roadside Writer. I’m putting up my best stories on this blog with the hope that someone cruising down the cyber-highway will stop and take the time to notice me. But it’s not just being noticed that matters to me… I want to connect my art to other people because it’s the only thing I can think of to do with the stories that build up in my heart on a very regular basis.
And as much as I want people to read my thoughts, stories, and musings, what you think of me, of my husband, of our life…all of it, is right here in black and white for you to judge.
Will you deem my stories worthy of pulling over to inspect them a bit closer, or will you drive by me the way Lou and I blew past that woman and her artwork today?
And if you do read my stories, will you feel the need to engage with me in a way that I won’t know how to handle?
Will you pity me, judge me, misunderstand me, or will you just “get” me?
Any of those things are possible! But those are the risks I have to be willing to take when I push my purpose and my soul out into the world like this. I can’t control any part of this process other than the part where I show up and present my work for your inspection. That’s it! The rest is out of my hands…
Anyway.
One thing I know for certain is that everyone is going through something, and when I hear someone else’s story, I can’t help but be changed. The way the amazingly kind man I met three weeks ago is coping with the year anniversary mark of his young wife’s death, or how a lovely nurse I met last week is preparing for the upcoming birth of her second child keeps me connected to the reality that nothing ever stays the same. Even dark times grow brighter, and our very best moments don’t last forever.
Our lives are always in process …
That’s the real reason I’m putting The Imposition Tour back on this blog. If there’s a chance that my life story, and the things that my husband and I have been through, can add some new perspective or a little bit of empathy, or perhaps some personal wisdom to the life of a passerby, then my days as The Roadside Writer will always be worth it…
