I got a little puff of wind in my sail this week, so to speak.

But before I talk about my metaphorical sail, let me say right up front that I know absolutely nothing about sailing or sailboats! However, I do understand that what moves a sailboat along the water is a good, steady flow of air that fills up the sail. That much is clear. And when I close my eyes and picture a sailboat cutting across the bay underneath the Golden Gate Bridge, the sail looks like a puffed up chest that’s boldly leading the way with optimism and heart. 

But on the flip side, a deflated sail evokes quite a bit of understanding in me, too, and for the most part, I can also relate my sail metaphor to a scene in the classic Chris Farley movie, Tommy Boy.  It’s that scene where Tommy Boy in his sailboat with his “crush,” waiting on the wind to set things in his life in motion — but while he’s waiting, there are some totally crummy kids taunting him from the shore. Thankfully, I don’t have any real bullies in my life — other than the ones who show up in my self-talk from time to time. But also, on the plus side, I have a couple of truly great friends “in my boat” who keep my inner-bullies in check the way Tommy’s girl does for him!

Anyway.

Now that I’ve established the basis for both sides of my sailboat metaphor, I can tell you more about how it relates to me.

I really do feel like for the past several months, I’ve been floating through life in a sailboat, and there’s absolutely no wind. I keep hoping there will be, but stillness is more of my reality, and while I can appreciate the beauty in the stillness, mostly, it makes me feel discouraged. But I keep on opening up my sail just in case a gust of change is headed my way. And because I’m a faithful believer,  I do everything I can to keep my sail in good shape — I clean it, I study it, I believe in it… And, I defend it. To myself…all the time… Even when I feel silly for believing in the winds of change that never seem to blow my way, I don’t have the heart to pull the ropes to collapse my sail. 

So this week, when an email appeared in my inbox, it felt exactly like a gust of hope blew in. And even though the email didn’t say anything definitive or solid, it simply stressed my sail ever-so-slightly, and I felt myself move for the first time in ages. I felt myself glide along the surface of my life and it felt so good! I tilted the sail to catch as much air as possible, and as I drifted, I found myself looking at the shoreline from a new angle. I was no closer to any destination in my mind or otherwise…

But that burst of wind in my sail gave me evidence that I can be moved. 

And, sometimes that’s all a person like me needs to keep believing.