I read this “Mom Fail” post on social media a while ago:
Kid: I got an A on my history test!
Mom: WTF!!
Kid: Um mom? What do you think WTF means?
Mom: Wonderful That’s Fantastic!
>>>>>>>MOM FAIL<<<<<<<<
This was a memorable post for me because it’s so funny, and, it seemed like something my mom might’ve done if cell phones and texting were part of our shared reality when she was still alive. Because just like this mom, my mom always got an A for effort!
I totally believe that making an effort to connect even in a small way is something to be acknowledged because it shows that you care, and that you’re at least willing to notice things that are relevant to others. But this week, my efforts just haven’t felt like enough. I wrote a lot this week, but nothing I came up with felt worthy of posting on my blog. I also read a lot, and some of the topics I dug into were incredibly loaded and complex, and so my reaction to these topics are going to take some extra time to unpack and evolve, I suppose.
To be fair, I was kind of all over the place with the articles and newsfeed items I read — which kind of scattered my thoughts too much to write anything with a lot of clarity. Just so you can see what I mean, here is a short list of content I focused on this week to give you some idea of the thoughts I’ve been gnawing on the most:
>An Op-Ed piece directed at Ellen Page for her comments about Chris Pratt, his church, and the Christian Right’s opposition of LGBTQ people — which lead me to read at least eight more articles about this exchange and this topic.
>An article someone close to me sent me on the subject of understanding White Privilege — which added to my already swirling thoughts on racial tension that were sparked by a really interesting book that a sweet young lady named August sent me called Dispatches from Pluto: Lost and Found in the Mississippi Delta.
>(NERD ALERT) A snarky podcast I listened to about the current season of The Bachelor and whether it’s OK for a man to ask a woman’s father for his permission to marry his daughter — and a few other perspectives on the whole spectrum of modern relationship issues (including male virginity).
Nothing like keeping things light and easy, right?
Please allow me to apologize in advance for bitching about my sore neck (again) in another post, but this pinched nerve has been brutal. (I never expected it to take so long to heal up and resolve!) But the discomfort I’ve experienced lately has really caused me to pause and drop into things differently than I normally do. I’m in this low place in my body and my mind right now, and so everything in my path looks different from this point-of-view. And because I couldn’t be very active this week, I spent a lot more time reading and listening to things I might not make as much time for when I’m feeling perky.
Stories in my newsfeed that I might normally just glance over, or merely read without doing any additional learning were right in front of me, and for once, I had the time and the desire go deeper. And it’s in the going deeper that I fully realized how complicated things can get, and how important it is for me to do more than just make the effort to understand.
It’s essential for me peel back all of the layers and feel the pain and find the similarities — as well as the differences — in the opinions and in the lives of others.
I’m still processing the thoughts I had this week, and so you can count on a post or two down the road from me on some of the trickier topics I’m currently pondering. Not that I would ever be the final word on anything, or that something I say would ever create a profound shift in this world. But if I can find a shift in myself, there’s hope. And if I can cling to hope for myself, then I suppose I can find some newfound grace to help me love people who might be radically different from me more completely.
Let me say it this way: My desire is to make a connection with others with words that I’ve invested in, and with ideas that I at least fully understand.
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24
